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Satanic Rites 3
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Satanic Rites - Issue 3 (1992-11-24)(Destiny).adf
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weirdnews
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1990-01-05
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{eWeird News {a- Collected from {eComic Relief {cScourger/Destiny
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{2{n LAND OF NO MORE FUN{1
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{eSingapore {athis year imposed a ban on {fchewing gum{a, declaring it
prevents the {cdoors {aof {munderground trains {afrom closing, {ecausing delays{a, and has
become a perennial nuisance in {emovie theatres{a, housing projects and other
public places. According to {cMinistry {aof the {cEnvironment {aspokesman Billy Chew,
anyone convicted of importing gum faces a $6173 fine and a year in jail, those
convicted of selling gum can be fined up to $1235, and persons found chewing
gum risk a $307 fine. Four months after {eoutlawing {agum, Singapores's
government announced it was prohibiting the sale of {mCoca-Cola{a, {mPepsi-Cola {aand
other sugary soft drinks. The ban applies only to {fschools{a.
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{2{n THE UN-HONEYMOONERS{1
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{eMarital bliss {aturned into a {mfamily feud {aat a wedding in a {fLos Angeles{a
suburb. {cPolice {asaid the early morning brawl began when two 12-year-olds, one
a relative of the bride and the other relative of the groom, got into a fight
and the adults argued over who had started the fight. "{eWhen I got there, all
of them were going at it. Nearly all 150 of them,{a" said Sgt. {fJim Ferris{a of
the local police who added that 10 of the guests were injured and five were
arrested.
{cPolice {ain Toledo, Ohio, USA, said that {mLeRoy Vizneau{a, 82, strangled
his wife {mMary Vizneau{a, 72, when she wouldn't turn down the volume of the
television set as he asked and instead "{epicked up a shoe and began hitting
him,{a" according to {cDetective Dave Noggle{a. He said that LeRoy Vizneau than
covered her with an Afghan and went to bed. Before police charged him with
murder the next day, they had to take him to the hospital after discovering
that he had apparently tried to {ccommit suicide {aby hitting himself on the head
with a {fhammer{a. {e(What a slapper! Everybody knows full instructions are in
SR#2 -Ed)
{a In {cSanta Ana, Calif., USA, {fJune Carter{a, 69, accused of setting her
husband on fire in a dispute over a piece of candy, said she was only trying
to scare him when she splashed him with alcohol and struck a match, telling
police "{eit just went up.{a" {cPaul Carter{a, 62, who was hospitalized with
third-degree burns, said his wife of 35 years became enraged when he ate a
chocolate Easter bunny that she wanted, but she insisted it was only a candy
bar. She suggested that the argument caused her to snap because of years of
caring for her {ecancer-ridden husband{a, who can barely walk. The whole time,
she had been able to get only a few hour's sleep each night because he
constantly watches TV.
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{2{n ETTIQUETTE ENFORCER{1
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Police in Aspen, Colorado, USA, charged {fJulia Marion Pike{a, 31, with
breaking another woman's nose in the ladies room of a local bar because of bad
manners. {cSgt. Leon Murray {aexplained that when the victim asked if anyone in
another stall had toilet paper to pass it to her, Pike complained that the
woman asked "{erudely{a" and "{ehadn't said please or thank you.{a" When the woman
invited Pike "{eto talk outside the stalls{a" Pike said she "{enaturally retaliated{a"
by {mhead-butting {aher {cbetween the eyes{a.
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{2{n SURVEY SAYS{1
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{mTwenty percent {aof {cFrench {awomen, according to a survey in the
news-magazine {cLe Point{a, do not think an interviewer should be censured for
asking a job applicant to disrobe. {f(Filthy pigs!){a
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{2{n DRINK-RIDING{1
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{a A U.S. study found that five of 13 people killed by falling off
horses in {csouth-western states{a of USA had been drinking. {mAmazing isn't it{a?
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{2{n OVER-QUALIFIED{1
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{a Needing a job after {enine years {ain prison for {mdrug smuggling{a, {cBruce
Perlowin{a, 41, put together a resume, titled "{eEx-marijuana Kingpin needs a
job,{a" that touts his "{eknack for organisation.{a" Perlowin, who was paroled in
January, ran a fleet of boats and ships that hauled 250 tons of marijuana into
California between 1974 and 1983. {fHis sales exceeded $500 million.{a He said
that the 30 resumes he sent out brought 10 positive responses, including an
offer for a job as a national sales manager for an "{eenvironmentally conscious{a"
company handling a food product harvested in a {mrain forest{a.
{2{fFINISH.{1